The Numbers Never Lie
What happens when all the wrong people are brought together to decide what to do about the right ones?
Part 1
Number 2: Why can’t we use names instead of these ridiculous pronouns?
Number 5: It would get redundant and how would we refer to ourselves?
Number 10: Number 10 said we should just be using our names.
Number 6: Number 10 didn’t say that. YOU DID!
Number 10: I am number 10.
Number 6: We aren’t numbers. We’re people. Those are just to keep us anonymous.
Number 10: Number 10 disagreed.
Number 6: Stop doing that. Referring to yourself in the third person is a sign of mental instability and it’s confusing.
Number 10: Number 10 is not confused.
Number 7: Yes you are, in more ways than you’re aware of.
Number 9: He’s not the only one.
Number 1: Can we please get back on topic. I don’t want to be here any longer than we have to be.
Number 2: We passed that point a long time ago.
Number 1: We have to have a unanimous decision or we can’t go.
Number 4: We've voted three times already and it’s still not unanimous. I don’t want to point fingers at any number but . . .
Number 7: Since when do you not point fingers at people?
Number 4: Since, Right now. Like it.
Number 7: Love the new you. It’s brilliant. Does it have a new name too?
Number 4: I was going to go with number 10 but number 7 is starting to grow on me.
Number 7: It’s not working for you.
Number 4: What do you know?
Number 7: A few things. Not a lot, just a few.
Number 4: So you’re trying to be number 9?
Number 7: I’m not trying to be anybody.
Number 4: Maybe you should.
Number 7: I’m good.
Number 12: Shouldn’t we be sure we have it right before we make any decision about it. What if we get it wrong?
Number 5: We can’t get it wrong. We decide what is right.
Number8: Who decided we get to decide that.
Number9: They did.
Number 2: Again with all these pronouns. They, them, it, us . .
Number 10; Correction, number 10 is confused.
Number 7: I told you.
Number 1: I’m not even sure if everyone is actually voting. The numbers don’t seem to line up.
Number 2: Maybe we should have a vote to allow for a majority decision and we’ll call it unanimous.
Number 1: It takes a unanimous decision to change any of the rules.
Number 8: I didn’t vote on that.
Number 12: Ahhhhh. The numbers are wrong.
Number 1: We didn’t vote on that. That’s how it was when we got here. We have to follow the rules or it won’t count.
Number 12: Didn’t somebody say we decide what’s right?
Number 1: Not with the rules. We are just trying to decide which side is right. Do we do what's right for them or not?
Number 4: Just pick a pronoun and go with it. I don’t even know who’s who anymore anyway.
Number 10: I am number 10;
Number 6: No you are not! Why do we have to go through this so many times for nothing?
Number 1: For a unanimous decision.
Number 2: How do we know they’re telling the truth? They could all be lying.
Number 1: They swore to tell the truth and there is evidence to support it.
Number 12: There’s evidence against it too.
Number 10: There’s also evidence they are lying.
Number 1: We are supposed to assume they are telling the truth.
Number 7: According to who?
Number 1: Because that’s what the rules say.
Number 12: Again with those rules. Where did you find this stuff? I’ve never heard of it.
Number 1: They read them to us when it started, weren't you listening?
Number 12: I was still wondering why I was here. By the time I knew it was too late.
Number 8: and now you can’t leave until we reach a unanimous decision. It almost feels like we went through this already.
Number 10: Number 10 is calling for a vote to have a meal break.
Number 6: UUuuugghhh. Yes, let's take a break.
Number 1: All in favor.
Group: Yes.
Number 2:not enough votes for it to be unanimous yet..
Number 4: UUUUUuuuugggghhhhhh!
Number 5: Number 9 didn’t vote.
Number 9: I’m the only one here who has any idea what’s really going on. When everyone else figures it out then I’ll vote. Till then I’m mentally somewhere else and I’m not the only one who is vacant.
Number 10: Number 10 is always present.
Number 5: That’s debatable.
Number 1: This is serious.
Number 9: More than you know. Just wait till the truth hits you.
Number 2: I think I’m glad I don’t know what you mean.
Number 9: You will. Trust me. . . or you won't . . .either way . . I’m almost done here.
Number 7: Can we just get on with it? It’s not like we are deciding the fate of the world or anything.
Number 2: We might be. Who knows what could happen if we side with them?
Number 1: Number 9, you seem sensible are they right?
Number 9: Oh, THEY were right but I didn’t hear those rules either. I already knew before I came here and yeah, they are wrong.
Number 10: Number 10 is sensible too.
Number 5: Can Number 10 spell sensible?
Number 12: Does spelling count here?
Number 10: Number 10 is a great speller.
Number 1: If number 9 says they are right maybe we should have another vote.
Number 8: Number 9 also said they were wrong. Doesn’t anybody else listen?
Number 5: These pronouns are confusing.
Number 12: They’re really not.
Number 9: Neither is what I said, if you were actually paying attention.
Number 10: Number 10 is always paying attention.
Number 6: Yeah, number 9 said they were right and they were wrong. We all heard it.
Number 9: But none of you see it.
Number 10: Number 10 sees it.
Number 6: That’s not what number 9 is talking about.
Number 10: How do you know what number 9 is talking about?
Number 6: I don’t but I can see what you’re looking at and that’s not what number 9 is talking about.
Number 10: It could be.
Number 6: No it can’t. What number 9 is talking about isn’t in here with us.
Number 9: That’s truer than you know.
Number 2: Enough, I’m hungry and I have better things to do than argue over who’s right and wrong in this..
Number 4: What’s keeping you from doing them?
Number 2: A unanimous vote for one thing. Are you posting this? Are you quoting me? Is that an about me page?
Number 4: I’m making the world a better place. And it’s more of an about you page but I’m posting like I am you.See, I’m making your world a better place.
Number 2: No you’re really not. People aren’t even supposed to know about this. Anonymous . . Do you know what that word means? Wasn’t there a rule about phones here?
Number 1: I didn’t hear it, that’s where I’ve been checking on the rules.
Number 4: how many people are not on their phones here?
Number 9: If I count me there are 3 people that are NOT using a phone IN HERE! I’m not sure about number 10 over there.
Number 10: Number 10 is always right.
Number 8: since number 10 is always right.I move to have my number changed to number 10,
Number 12: Maybe we should all just be number 10s.
Number 5: That would be more confusing than the pronoun debacle we have now. I still don’t know who “they” are.
Number 9: So close, but still not seeing it. Unbelievable.
Number 6: It doesn’t matter who”they” are. All we have to decide is who is right. Since all we have to choose from is “them” we can’t be wrong. Right?
Number 9: that's the most logical thing I’ve heard you say. It’s completely wrong but it is logical.
Number8: How can it be logical and still wrong?
Number 9: The conclusion was wrong. You’r still missing some details and you're assuming there is only one logical conclusion. If you put an ice cube in a skillet and it melts it doesn’t mean the burner was on or the skillet was hot. It just wasn’t freezing. Deductive reasoning only works if you have every detail and as people we rarely do. I can see how you could come to that conclusion but it’s still wrong.
Number 8: When number 9 talks I get pains.
Number 10: Number 10 is confused again.
Number 8: Do you mean me as number 10 or you as number 10.
Number 6: What difference does it make?
Number 4: Oh I’m definitely confused.
Number 9: I’m speechless.
Number 2: Yet, you spoke.
Number 9: . . . . . .
Number 9:We should definitely have another vote. A secret one again. Just to see
Number 1: Everybody close and cover your eyes No peeking in the secret vote
Number 2: Everybody who thinks they’re right raise your right hand.
Number 5: Is it unanimous?
Number 9: Keep your eyes closed till it is. I’ll let you know when.
Number 4: If Number 2 gets a few more followers they’ll have to invent a new number name.
Number 2: What?
Number 4: Well it’s the account I created for you, so I get the credit.
Number 2: I don’t need followers, I’m not trying to start a cult.
Number 4: But they need you, which is in reality me.
Number 8: Who taught you this stuff?
Number 4: The same person that taught Einstein how to make light bulbs. A.K.A. Nobody.
Number 12: What . . . .
Number 4: I’m so far past what people can teach I have to create it myself.
Number 1: You’re starting to scare me a little.
Number 4: You don’t have to follow me on my number 2 account.
Number 1: I don’t follow anybody.’
Number 4: Actually, everyone in this room were some of number 2’s, or my, first followers
Number 2: When did that happen?
Number 4: What have all of you been doing this whole time?
Number 1: Trying to come to a decision.
Number 4: I already did that. Now I’m making the world better for all of 2’s followers, which includes all of you.
Number 12: You look so innocent.
Number 4: And because I do everything under other peoples names people will believe I am.
Number 9: It’s logical. . . . and again . . .completely wrong.
Number 4: We all have to agree with what’s right or wrong, not just you number 9.
Number 10: Number 10 has left the building.
Number 9: Finally.
Number 1: Can we get back on track so we can all go back to our lives.
Number 2:You can choose to do what’s right or choose to do what’s wrong, but you can’t choose what is right and what is wrong..
Number 8: That’s amazing, where did you find that?
Number 2: On my account.
Number 4: You’re welcome.
Number 6: Didn't someone say we decide what is right and wrong?
Number 8: Do as you say not as you do as number 2.
Number 4: Exactly. They don’t even know I’m the person behind the number 2 account. So I can do anything I want and it doesn’t affect my online presence or life.
Number 9: Have you ever considered how it might affect you?
Number 4: I don’t have time to think about things like that with all these other peoples lives I run.
Number 12: Fake people's lives.
Number 4: The people are real, the accounts are fake. Please keep up.
Number 12: Where do you find all those sayings you post? You don’t actually write anything.
Number 4: Research. There’s tons of people who write things. I just borrow them for other people to see.
Number 8: And claim they are yours.
Number 4: I don’t ever claim anything. Number 2 might but I don’t.
Number 8: I feel sad.
Number 4: I’m working on a motivational section on number 2’s account that will cheer you up. Number 12 loves it.
Number 5: My head hurts.
Number 4: Number 2 said we should all try being more productive.
Number 1: We should be producing a decision.
Number 6: I’m working even when I’m not.
Number 4: I get paid by the click, not my vote here.
Number 8: I thought we all were getting paid for showing up to this thing.
Number 4: And if you all used your time as wisely as I do, you’d all be leaving with as much money as I am.
Number 12: What do you do in your freetime Number 4?
Number 4: Time with me is never free.
Number 9: That’s true.
Number 4: That’s not what I meant.
Number 9: But it’s what you said.
Number 4: I’m going to block you from number 2’s account if you keep that attitude. Plus, I make all I need from all of your accounts. If I spend time with people it’s a blessing they would gladly pay for. Like all of you are.
Number 5: I’m not paying you.
Number 4: you all donated to my GoFundMe Account for number 2.
Number 2: The world you live in scares me.
Number 4: It’s the world you live in since I created your account.
Number 1: This is getting out of hand and we are all here for a reason.
Number 9: Getting closer.
Number 10: Number 10 needs everyone to take a timeout.
Number 8: My brain is already numb.
Number 1: We still don’t have a unanimous vote yet.
Number 9: Do any of you even know what we're voting on?
Number 7: Number 10 your morning workout video is going viral on number 4’s number 2 account.
Number 10: All my videos go viral.
Number 8: You mean my videos
Number 10: They only see me
Number 9: They see a steroided mass
Number 10: I don’t do steroids. I take growth supplement medications. I had a condition.
Number 2: What condition was that?
Number 10: I couldn’t get any bigger. I had reached the limits of what my genes said I could be. I wanted to be more. It was a psychological condition and a physical one.
Number 9: Logical . . . again.
Number 10: I’m under doctor's orders to be as big as I want to be. And I’m perfect.
Number 8: What about the food? How much do you have to eat to be like that, and how can you afford it?
Number 10: I get money for my condition and I get money from advertisers on my videos.
Number 8: Thanks to me.
Number 1: Why thanks to you?
Number 8: Without me they’re just videos. I make them more, more interesting.
Number 2: What does that mean . . exactly?
Number 7: I think he means subliminal.
Number 8: That’s a negative word. I prefer superimposing on people's will.
Number 7: Yeah, that sounds better.
Number 8: I know. It’s not like anything I do is actually illegal. I didn’t even invent it. I just do it discreetly.
Number 12: Did number 10 watch one of your videos before he decided he had a condition?
Number 8: That’s not the point. Plus Number 1 does the sound.
Number 1: What I do is just standard advertising. Kind of.
Number 12: So the sound is subliminal too.
Number 1: No, it’s just the part of it that tells you what we want you to do is really low and kind of blends in with the music. It’s like having the lyrics real soft but people's subconscious still picks up on it. Then with the visuals you get a nice little compelling video. It’s not like we're telling people to do anything bad, just what to buy and what to watch and what to like.
Number 12: Who decides all that?
Number 1: The people paying us.
Number 4: What the three of you do scares me.
Number 8: We posted the video on your number 2 account.
Number 4: But number 2 doesn’t spend all day in the gym to look like that.
Number 2: or want to.
Number 8: Have you looked at the views it's got number 4?
Number 4: Well just don’t tell me what you’re doing. I’ll claim I was used if it backlashes.
Number 2: That’s my excuse.
Number 12: How many times have you used it already?
Number 2: It . . . doesn’t . . . . matter.
Number 8: Why does number 12 have a dog here?
Number 12: It’s for emotional support.
Number 7: When did you develop emotions?
Number 9: or a conscience?
Number 12: Since I found out that people will come up to him and smile and pet him and I can carry him anywhere. He also warns me of the bad people before they get too close.
Number 8: As long as they're smiling at you, you wont hurt them?
Number 12: (looks coldy at number 8)
Number 4: whispers ( she genuinely frightens me.)
Number 7: What was it you tried putting in those people's food?
Number 12: It . . doesn’t . . .matter. They wouldn't do what I wanted them to. So I didn’t need them anymore. Lots of restaurants have secret ingredients. I can’t help it if some of my employees stored the wrong things next to each other and they accidentally got mixed together. There wasn’t enough evidence to convict me.
Number 7: Most restaurants don’t have ingredients that come with a warning label.
Number 12: I bought it at the store. It was legal.
Number 1: The other store you worked at? What happened to some of the things on the shelf there?
Number 12: They had been contaminated during shipping or by a patron.
Number9: Clever.
Number 12: It happens. The world isn’t perfect.
Number 4: Neither is Mr. Muscle No Brain. I’m sure being able to change a tire without a jack comes in handy all the time. Not in my life but I’m sure it does in yours.
Number 8: We made a video of him doing just that. It went viral.
Number 2: So he’s a science project instead of a perfect specimen.
Number 12: Hmmm. He might make a good new pet.
Number 9: Do the words morally and ethically mean anything to any of you?
group:Eh uh, Nope, What language is that? Never heard of them. You made those up. Do you need a prescription for them? Or to get rid of them?
Number 7: Did he really say he was perfect?
Number 12: A perfect pet.
Number 10: I am what every person should look like and wants to.
Number 12: You have definitely been watching your own videos.
Number 10: What?
Number 2: If you’re perfect now, what are you trying to become?
Number 10: Bigger.
Number 2: Bigger than perfect. Isn’t that imperfect? If what you are now is perfect, why try to become anything more.
Number10: I don't have anything to say to that.
Number 2: Not enough going on upstairs to figure it out huh?
Number 9: That could be said of all of you.
Number 2: When did he start referring to himself in the first person?
Number 8: Must be time for your medicine buddy.
Number 10 And another shake.
Number 8: Yes it is. Keep making me money Mr. Muscles.
Number 9: You know his life span has been cut in at least half because of all those medicines he takes.
Number 8: Probably shorter than that now that 12 has decided he’s her new pet.
Number 9: Then what are you going to do for money?
Number 1: We’ll turn it into a sad story and create a charity to keep it from happening to others. Cha-Ching!
Number 2: That’s brilliant! I want in.
Number 4: I’ll post about the memorial on number 2’s account and the new charity. We’ll make a fortune.
Number 1: Just don't let Number 2 get her hands on the money or access to any accounts.
Number 2: Money gets lost sometimes. Stocks are like gambling. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t.
Number 8: How much money was lost that actually belonged to you?
Number 2: None. I have an expensive lifestyle.
Number 8: So you don’t need money?
Number 2: I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t need money. That’s why we all came here isn’t it? It takes money to make money.
Number 4: I do everything with free stuff till I get money, then I spend a little to make more money, or I get people to just give me money.
Number 8: Us too. Just wait till 12 decides she doesn’t like him anymore and we’ll have it made.
Number 2: Amateurs.
Number 9: How much are we supposed to get?
Number 1: We only get paid if we can come to a unanimous decision.
Number 2: Lets vote.
Number 1: Yeah but this time write them down and we’ll see who’s not voting with us.
Number 4: All of Number 2’s followers say we should vote for them.
Number 5: But that would mean no bonus.
Number 8: So we all vote against them and get a bigger pay day.
Number 1: Lets vote.
Number 2: Still not enough.
Number 4: What did Number 12 mean by “Bad People”?
Number 2: People like some people's customers but her dog is more confused by good and bad than she is..
Number 7: I’m not sure who that was directed to but my customers are all fine. They just need a little help.
Number 4: Are some of you drug dealers?
Number 5: I prefer the term undervalued temporary solutions marketer of questionable lagality.
Number 9: Is that from that religious book Number 2 was making?
Number 2: It’s not religion, per say, it’s self help, and yes it is from my book. Which is now available on audible for those who don’t read.
Number 10: Number 10 reads.
Number 9: But can you read?
Number 8: Don’t confuse him?
Number 9: Are you sure you understand it?
Number 5: They're like ice cream with a bigger kick.
Number 9: I love it here!
Number 2: That’s not what I said, exactly.
Number 7: people eat certain foods when they’re in certain moods. Or they come to us.
Number 4: Or they just like ice cream sometimes.
Number 8: And some people just like animals and have a pet. Nothing creepy about it. Not anybody in this room, but they are out there.Just like some people are creepy who don’t have pets.
Number 5: You really don’t want to push your luck with that one.
Number 8: I’m fine. I don’t have anything she wants or likes enough to bother with me. I’m number 12 neutral. Number 2 is the one you have to watch out for. Ask her about accidents.
Number 2: The best way to get rid of good people is with a good accident. Hah, beat you to it.
Number 12: good people? Bad people? Nobody ever says what they’re good at.
Number 5: I know. Nobody ever just says Number 5 is good. It’s always Number 5 is good at this or that.
Number 4: And you never wondered why?
Number 9: Nope, I’m never leaving this place. It’s like my own private little heaven.
Number 7: If Number 2 didn’t make up a religion who did?
Number 5: That honor goes to number 12.
Number 12: I didn’t make it up. I was told about it.
Number 8: By who?
Number 12: The voices.
Number 4: . . . . Voices? . . . . .
Number 12: The voices never lie!
Number 8: Are they counted in the unanimous decision?
Number1: No. No one else hears voices that I’m aware of.
Number 10: Number 10 likes animals.
Number 2: Big and slow but you’re perfect.
Number 12: I don’t like my pets to think too much.
Number 8: I give him 6 months . . .tops.
Number 2: Cha-ching!
Number 1: I really feel like we're’ all finally getting to know each other and it feels good
Number 9: what could possibly go wrong?
Part 2
Number 3: Do you miss them?
Number 11: I still dream, it's just different now. What about you?
Number 3: I dream about spring at the end of winter. . . and snow at the end of summer.
Number 11: How long do you think number 9 stayed?
Number 3: Probably not long after us, the humor in it couldn’t have lasted too long.
Number 11: IDK, she likes thinking she’s the smartest person in the room.
Number 3: Then she’ll probably stay.
Number 11: It really is a shame . . .to be that smart . . . and have no understanding.
Number 3: and be completely heartless.
Number 11: She claims she’s testing them.
Number 3: It’s sad. In a completely ironic kind of way They’re the ones being tested. Including Number 9.
Number 11: They probably still think they’re getting something for being there.
Number 3: I’m sure they will get something, but it won’t be money like they think it is.
Number 11: It’s scary to think what they could do with the resources and the freedom to do what they want. They’ve got them all on a closed network. None of it’s real. No money, no people. None of it.
Number 3: I don’t want to know. I’m just glad we walked away. Promise me we’ll never go back.
Number 11: I promise. I just wanted to see if they had changed. I guess they haven't . . or won’t . . .or can’t.
Number 3: If they ever figure it out they can come find us. Not the other way around.
Number 11: Some know where we’re going but they won’t ever come there.
Number 3: Not enough places to hide or people to hide behind.
Number 11: It’s sad, part of what they think isn’t actually wrong but the rest of it is so misguided or just flat out wrong it makes all of it wrong.
Number 3: Some of them have a few things right. Not all of them. Even the few things they do that are O.K are for all the wrong reasons.
Number 11: Do you think they’ve realized 10 isn’t actually speaking about himself?
Number 3: Doubtful. I think he believes it himself now. I told them we should use our real names. How long do you think they will stay there when they realize a unanimous decision is impossible without everyone there?
Number 11: I don’t want to know. At least we’re not part of it anymore.
Number 3: We never were, and we’ll never have to deal with any of them again.
Number 11: True, and we did tell them we were leaving.
Number 3: The smartest one didn’t even show up.
Number 11: You have more heart and I went to make sure you came back.
Number 3: Glad you did. I almost got lost. I’ve never been assaulted by that much nonsense in my life. I tried . . . . everything.
Number 11: That’s why we never go back. You just needed to see it for yourself. I just didn’t realize how far down they had really gone and how far they would go to keep you there too.
Number 3: I guess. Not sure anybody really needs to see all that.They’re . . . . insane. . . It was a pretty clever way to get them to tell on themselves though.
Number 11: Eventually they’ll start talking about how bad everybody else is and how much better they are or they’ll throw everybody else under the bus to try and save themselves. Once Number 9 realizes she’s going down with them she’ll tell everything about everybody just to bring everyone else down too. Friends, family, acquaintances, and just people they heard about. It’s the end of an era.
Number 3:Moving on.
Number 11: Bigger and better things.
Number 3: Good things. Little things. Things to make memories from. Things worth living for.
Number 11: Deal.
​
​
​
written by Benjamin Evans